Future Dads,

The goal of this post is to explore the challenges of being a working dad during your wife’s pregnancy. Times have changed and the working parent dynamic is more flexible than it has been in the past. I’m writing today to the dads out there holding down a full-time, or multiple part-time, job(s). Fortunately, Mrs. Lone Star doesn’t have to work in order for us to survive or live comfortably.

First, let’s look at what our lives were before pregnancy:

• Freedom to the extent that we’re financially capable of doing what we want
• Limited responsibility in the fact that Mrs. Lone Star and I were only responsible for ourselves
• My 9-6, Monday-Friday career
• Mrs. Lone Star’s quilting/sewing business/hobby
• A fairly open schedule to associate with friends and family

Now, let’s explore our new situation after a positive pregnancy test:

• Freedom to the extent that we’re financially capable of doing what we want, while simultaneously preparing for the financial addition of a new family member
• Additional responsibility in the sense that, even though Baby Lone Star hasn’t arrived, Mrs. Lone Star and I are responsible for the health of our unborn daughter
• My 9-6, Monday-Friday career
• Mrs. Lone Star’s quilting/sewing business/hobby
• A slightly less open schedule to associate with friends and family due to the added occurrences of doctors visits, anticipatory shopping trips, nursery renovations, etc.

As you can see above, there are some small changes on paper you’ll need to adjust to. However, those small changes can have a big impact on day-to-day routines. Perhaps it means changing the family diet to be more suitable for an expecting mom. That small change could entail more time dedicated to meal-prep and grocery shopping.

As you might expect, your wife will be less and less capable of completing certain tasks without help as the pregnancy advances. It’s important that we anticipate this and offer our help whenever possible. Whether it’s doing the grocery shopping for your wife after you get off work so she doesn’t have to carry heavy bags around. Or, doing the dishes or folding the laundry so she can get more rest. I’m not suggesting you don’t already do these things for, or with, your wife. I’m simply offering something to think about. These added responsibilities on us as husbands will naturally demand that we have less time to do the things we might want to do instead.

You need to have an honest conversation with your wife about each other’s needs. She will have needs that you may not anticipate or understand, just as you will have needs she may not understand. Mrs. Lone Star seemed to have a hard time understanding that I needed some “guy time” where my friends and I could just be ourselves and unwind from our time at work. If both of you are honest and understanding, you’ll be able to work through these challenges.

As the old adage goes: happy wife, happy life.

– The Lone Star Dad